I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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