I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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