I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
