can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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