My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
