I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
