Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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