My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
