Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize