you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
