I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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