i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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