be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
