Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
