Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
