my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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