The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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