It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
