This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize