Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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