i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
