I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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