Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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