i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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