So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
