I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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