margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
