I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
