Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
