I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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