Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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