You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
