So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
