Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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