I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
