Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
