Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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