u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
