It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
NoShamevember. You game?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
