you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
