I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
