I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
