2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
