morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
