the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
