And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
