I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
