I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
