Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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