so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
