Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
