My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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