Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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