You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
we're so committed to being not committed
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
