if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize