Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
