I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
sarcasm needs its own font
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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