She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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